[TeNi]

My blog is finally up and running!!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005

These pass few days have been so great for the both of us.I really enjoy your company and im getting fond of you.You are what i look forward to after a hard day's work beacuse looking at your face never fails to put a smile on mine.All the trips to Jb...the shows we have watched...the little arguments we had all make me like you even more. I think i have come so far that i really hope we will work out someday.I love you Yanni..So so much.Wished i could spent every second of my life with you beside me. :)

11:28 AM
mypredatoryinstincts.

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A Thank you letter for my cutsie

I seriously never thought that anyone except my ex could make me happier...but since u came into my life...the hapiness and security that i used to feel cannot be compared to how i feel now..i long to see your smile, smell ur heavenly scent and feel ur fingers inter-twined with mine everyday single day.Although it has been no more than a month...my feelings for you runs deep and much deeper with each passing day.The love , care and concern that i have for you cannot be described...so much so that sometimes i think im crazy falling this way for you.But i know its all worth it and i really do enjoy loving you , pampering you and seeing you smile.Thank you for always being there for me and spending a lot of your time on me. i really appriciate u like how u appriciate me.Thank you so so much darlin...Seriously...i think we are in a relationship in denial.. :)

11:27 AM
mypredatoryinstincts.

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Why is it so hard for you to let go?

The very sight of your beautiful face always never fails to put a smile on my face..Why do i feel this way towards you when i dun even know much about you.Why do i feel like i want you to be part of my life...maybe its because of this special something that i saw in you.Honestly i dun know what it is but its there.As always...just as i am about to think of all the sweet things that i wanna think abt between the two of us , there is always this black clouds..clouds of doubts..that always feels my mind.I really really dun know how you feel towards me...Yeah u may say u like me but that just dosent explain what i want to know..things like do i have a chance?..am i in your list?... i dun wanna be wasting my time nor do i wanna be hurt again.Am i rushing things? Maybe i am but im only human.As much as your past affects you..it does affect me too. Life has to go on..you have to move on...no one said its gonna be easy but thinking abt him and still contacting him wouldnt help you one bit.I really wanna see you move on and get on with your life and leave your past behind.I guess you know better than i do on how to deal with your problems.Will be seeing u at 9pm today...hope to have a nice long talk with you like how we always do. :)

11:26 AM
mypredatoryinstincts.

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Should i give it a shot

Wat a day yesterday was...went to city hall in the morning for the NDP combined training rehearsal yesterday and was practically marching whilst my brains was being fried by the torching sun...it was really really hot..so hot that 2 ppl fainted.And there was not even enough water points which made it more worst.After that shafiq invited me to a chalet of one of his friends..since i had no one to ask along to accompany me i decided to ask her along....honestly she really is pretty and very very cute as well...i just could not take my eyes off her the moment i saw her.So we went to the chalet and all the guys were staring at her...i felt funny...then at ard 12 plus they started drinking and i didnt feel comfortable there so i decided to teach her how to ride my bike..shes pretty good for a first timer..even managed to tompang me..muahahhaa fast lerner i must say...After that we chilled at pasir ris beach and talked alot..although i am the talkative type..the very sight of her just makes me wanna stare at her and not say a word while i admire her beauty...sent her back to yishun and headed back home.I know that i can fall in love with her if i want too but seriously i dun have a clue abt how she feels abt me...right now we are just friends and i am cool with that...i guess i will just have to wait and let time decide..thats all for now..gonna play soccer with the guys at the multi storey carpark.Btw im contemplating weather i should sell my bikebecause there is some kind of emotional attachement towards my bike now..HELP!!

11:25 AM
mypredatoryinstincts.

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Behind all that smiles

Feelin lost and empty inside is something i am slowly getting used to. The lost of a love one and a best friend really makes my world feel so small.If only things were how it used to be before..maybe its fated or maybe its just stupidity on both our parts.Blame it on NS? I really dun know..yes i admit that i also was in the wrong , but my intentions were only for the benefit of our future. Take it the way u want to , believe in what people say , for i know that my intentions were good. Memories we had together somehow gets stuck to me..as if someone nailed it in my heart. Drowning myself in thoughts of self pity , i often think.. are u really worth my love and my tears..the answer is very obvious.

11:25 AM
mypredatoryinstincts.

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Profit or Loss

After talking to many people...i too , finally agreed that one of the benefits of being single is that u get to save more money. Thats true to a certain extent. As for me , weather im single or not , i still always end up broke.And being a male , this really affects my ego alot. But thankfully , i know where my money is always going to, now that im single.It may be glamorous and it may look sporty but the fact of the matter is that my Kr has a lot of problems.Though the problems may seem minor , repairing them do cost alot because one thing leads to another.And for the past 2 months i have been going broke no more than 3 days after my pay-day.Having done a full servicing on my bike , i expected it to run and sound a lot more better...and the truth is that it did , but only for about a week.It still sounds good now , only thing is that the fear of my bike breaking down again like how it did in yishun really bugs me. I have come to such a point where trading my currerent Kr for an RXZ might be a reality.But having spend so much money and a hell lot of waxing on this bike...i think i shall give it another 2 mths to prove itself.If things are still the same then i guess i have no choice but to get another bike.Better still , i might not even own a bike because the reson for me to get a bike is sadly not with me.Anyways , i shall see how things goes and pray that everything will turn up just fine.

11:24 AM
mypredatoryinstincts.

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What have i done to deserve this?

What have i done to deserve this? My love for you is so pure..so true..never have i loved anyone in my life so so much before.But why does your heart feel alien towards me? Always wanting you to see me happy is a big mistake because you took that to mean that i am ok...even though you were not with me , when we went out i did not show you my dark side..the side of my that is wanting you back so much , the side of me that feels so hurt beacuse you are not with me , the side of me that is crying to sleep every single night..and i did all that because i did not want you to worry abt me..thinking that how you feel is more important than how i feel...but all that was a big mistake for you took it to mean otherwise..i should have showed you how i felt from the start..maybe then you would have seen how much i love you and how desperate i am to get you back.I am going thru such a mental and emotional breakdown that i really dont know what to do anymore..you were all i had..all that i wanted.People learn from mistakes and yes there are consequences for mistakes but what if the mistake was done to make you a better person?Would i still have to go thru the consequences even though i did it for your own good?I have learnt from my mistakes and i know that i am a better person now...then why do u still not want me back? With my birthday just round the corner...no other gift would be nicer than to have u back in my life..thats all i want. :(

11:23 AM
mypredatoryinstincts.

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Still feels like the past

The very sight of your beautiful face makes me wanna run to you...like a child running to the arms of a mother.They say time heals all wounds , as for me , time has past but my wounds are left untouched.In fact the feeling of achieving my goal of eventually getting u back gets more stronger with each passing day.And its not as if im doing all these just because i want u back , but its because the love i have for u runs so deep in me that i know we can happen.. we can do it again.Never have i bonded with someone so close.If only my heart could talk , maybe then u will understand how i feel towards you and maybe then u may see the reason to come back to me.Sending u back just now and feeling your arms hug me so tightly got my emotions running so wild that before i knew it , tears were running down my eyes , tryin hard to stop it...i just couldnt.Not knowing when i was ever gonna see you again...not knowing weather you still love me...not knowing wheather i will eventually be with u soon...were all fuels that kept my tears running.Finally reaching our destination , i insisted that my eyes were just dry because i dun want you to remember seeing me last crying , but i would rather want u to remember seeing me last with a smile on my face saying i love you to u.I guess thats all for now...my throat feels so so dry... :(

11:21 AM
mypredatoryinstincts.

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